Causes of Bullying

Society seems to be on a downward spiral with morality. The lack of morals is becoming too acceptable in today's world. People disrespecting each other over simple selfishness. That brings me to my topic, bullying. Bullies aren't just bratty teens  in school, they are adults too. Bullying has gone to extremes and the problem needs to be stopped before it even begins.
 According to NoBullying.com, the bully's intentions are to increase their popularity or power, bullies turn their wrath on victims who are perceived as weaker than them. They will never zone in someone they feel will be able to challenge or stand up to them. In order to understand causes of bullying you must realize that Bullying victims may:

• wear glasses
• be less popular
• be over or underweight
• be of a different race or religion
• be from a different socioeconomic background
• be gay or lesbian
• have a disability

Image Credit: Southern Poverty Law Center

I believe the cause of bullying lies further than the sole need to be powerful. The surroundings that a child has in this day and age teach greed, hate, and selfishness. How can we stop bullying when the world continues to grow in hate? Maybe if we would set better examples for our youth, there wouldn't be so much hate. Hate continues to rise while Obama is trying to offer more rights and freedom to people. The most recent report reveals that there were two types of hate groups that saw a significant increase  from 2010 to 2011: anti-Muslim and anti-gay groups (Ben Forer, 2012, ABC News, Hate Groups on the Rise in U.S., Report Says, http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/03/hate-groups-on-the-rise-in-u-s-report-says/).

I believe that music plays a grave part in influencing a child's behavior. I just asked my 9-year-old daughter what type of music she listens too and she said, "Pop." Mind you, my daughter is a gifted student who's a tattle tail in school. She lets adults know when someone is misbehaving. I appreciate that. When I asked her what music she thinks bullies listen to she said, "Rap." Even a 9-year-old is capable of identifying the violence music can display and teach kids. I'd like to show you an example of lyrics from one the top hits that teens are listening to: I ain't worried bout feature

Homeboy you's a pee on

Toilet seat a** n***a man I swear you getting peed on

Photo credit: Examiner.com

Man my jewelry so cold I walk around with the heat on

My alarm clock set just in case they wanna sleep on

(Read more: T-Wayne - Nasty Freestyle Lyrics | MetroLyrics)

Is this what the world has come to? Nasty music teaching our youth nasty attitudes. In studies performed to assess the reactions of young males exposed to violent rap music videos or sexist videos, participants reported an increased probability that they would engage in violence, a greater acceptance of the use of violence, and a greater acceptance of the use of violence against women than did participants who were not exposed to these videos (From the American Academy of Pediatrics, 2009, Impact of Music, Music Lyrics, and Music Videos on Children and Youth Council on Communications andMedia,

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/5/1488.full).

We as parents have the responsibility to filter through every influence in our children's environment. Parent's cannot reach every single influence, but what we can reach we should reach. We can start by teaching our children moral values. Here are eight moral values that all people, not just children, should own: Respect, obedience, politeness, responsibility, humility, good manners, friendliness, and honesty (Jordin Keim, http://parenting.allwomenstalk.com/moral-values-to-teach-your-children/7/). Respect teaches a child that they are not better than anybody else. Obedience teaches them to listen even if they do not understand why; momma knows best. Politeness shows respect in which respect is returned. It also shows maturity and care. Responsibility teaches them to care for themselves without depending on others. Humility teaches love and kindness. I believe this to be of the utmost importance; humility is like the opposite of bullying. Humility shows selfless acts of love and kindness. It takes a strong person to show humility and that is what our kids need to be taught; not that it shows weakness. Good manners reflect the parenting of the child. With good parenting comes good manners; hopefully, they will pass them down to their own children. Friendliness shows a lack of judgment and teaches children to be kind to everyone. Honesty is important. I have a son that just can't get the concept of honesty. He has no problem telling someone they have a big belly, though. I never know if I can believe him. It is important to be honest but not when it hurts an innocent person. For instance, if a child is honest to their parents and tells them about a bully and the bully gets in trouble that would not be the same as telling someone they are ugly. We must teach our kids the correct use of honesty. I pray for this world daily. All of the kids I come in contact with seem nice, but reveal their true colors on social media. I fear that some kids are hiding their true colors from their parents because they know what they do isn't right, but they have a need to fit in at school. That is why we need to teach our children morals and hope that there are enough parents out there that will do the same so that we may change the world.

Let us not wait for the problem of bullying to occur before we take action; teach the kids morals and values now. We must fight from the beginning in order to change the end. I'm only one parent out of billions and I fail daily, but I try to teach my kids what is right. Do your best to prepare your children for the world. Let's leave better children to the planet, not a better planet for our children to destroy.

Gay Marriage is not Good for Society

I just read an article that spoke of how children are affected by the sex of their parents. Apparently, the author, Nathaniel Haas, of the article titled, "New Study Leaves No Doubt: Gay Marriage Good For Society," believes that children raised by gay couples are accelerated learners. There was a study taken to "prove" so. there were studies that marijuana was healthy while pregnant too, but does that make it true?

Looking into the children of nuclear families and that of same-sex parental families, the supposed higher educated children were from gay families. It may be possible that those families may be so grateful to have those children that they show them more attention. Gays cannot make babies, a lesbian couple could use sperm to conceive, but even with that they are less likely to have more than 2 kids seeing how the lack of procreation is playing a part.

Although the kids of the gay family may seem to be having an easy childhood does not change the fact that they may be affected and not showing any signs yet. Children are empty books waiting to be filled in; it is our job to write them a good story.

Everybody thinks that people who are against gay marriage get the idea from the Bible and have no room to use that with all the sins they endure daily. I know I sin, but I am trying to be better not worse. The article imposes that the traditional family is behind in values because some children from gay families showed higher intelligence than those from the traditional family. That does not prove that the children are smarter because of gay parents.The evidence that children raised by homosexual couples turn out okay is good news whichever side we take on this issue! However, just because something appears to get good results doesn't mean the method of getting those results is right does it? The end doesn't necessarily justify the means does it (Hotch)? There would need to be a wider study to show more proof. Education is good to have, but morals are more important. Life is not about how much you know, it is about how much you love. I love all people. loving somebody is not the same as letting them do whatever they want. A child who is given unlimited rights knows not of morality.

Our kids should learn to accept people for who they are, but not be taught that just because those people are accepted does not make what they do right. I feel like the End is coming sooner than later. This world is full of greed and empty of love and values. I understand that gays can't help their urges, but they must know that urges are meant to control. Just because something is desired through love does not make it right. The love of money, for example, is never a good thing.

When a gay male couple have a daughter and she gets her period, what are they going to do? Men and women have different roles in a child's life and the kids need those different emotions that are shown. I love that my husband is adored by our kids. He also takes the role of the dominant parent, the one I call on to help when the kids are out of control. My dad was the backup for my mom. He taught me to ride a bike and to fish. Having both sexes there for the child is important. If those kids in the study grew up around gay marriage and have no emotional issues, it is probably because they weren't taught that marriage is for a man and a woman, therefore, they have no real window to have emotional issues.

A man was meant to be with a woman; science says so and so does God.

Good vs Evil: Make a choice

I know that some of you who read my posts do not believe in God or Jesus, but I do. I have witnessed proof of his existence. He has shown himself to me in ways that I would only recognize, and if you were to open up to what is then you could see it too. There must be an idea lingering in the back of your back of your mind though. I mean, there are countless items of evidence that are beyond scientific explanation. Some people believe in evil but not good. Why is that? Well, there happens to be more proof of demons than Angels and I'll tell you why. Where do demons come from? Hell right? So if you lived in a fiery lake wouldn't you want to merge to the top and get out? Duh, of course you would. And Angels, where are they from? Heaven. Heaven is a place with no pain, fear, death, violence, or any difficulties; it is made of Joy and Love. Who wants to leave such an amazing place?

Yes, many question why God doesn't rid the world of evil, but the point of this life is prove that we can have faith and maintain humility. Life is trials and tribulations. All those children who die are blessed because they will never be tested like an adult. Children are innocent and are granted entry into Heaven automatically. This may seem ridiculous to a parent who lost a child, but isn't it a thought that could make the loss less painful; knowing they are living joyously with our Heavenly Father?

This is an image of Jesus rewarding the good deeds of Christians
at the Bema Seat of Judgement

For those who do not believe I ask you this:
"Would you rather believe in Jesus and he not be real and sleep eternally or believe in Jesus and find out he was real and live eternally in Heaven?"

I have total belief in Jesus, he saved us all. If you don't believe in him you should start, just in case He is real... (He is).

Acts 2:38 New International Version

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

The Non-Addict Approaching an Addict with Love and Concern: The Do's and the Don'ts

I am on a mission to help as many people as I can. I was in my daily AA meeting and one person really stuck out to me. She was attending the meeting to gain knowledge of alcoholism because she has a sister who is suffering from it and seems to be unreachable. Just like the addict, the sister was left with that famous question that leads each person to AA, "What is there left to do?"

After the meeting, I approached her and offered my advice. As we spoke she revealed how her sister wouldn't listen to her. I shook my head in understanding. I exclaimed that the addict will not listen to any type of preaching or direction. In order to reach her she would have to speak of ideas that she heard as simply that, ideas. If she told her sister that she thought that would be good for her, she would most likely reject the idea. Addicts are self-centered and suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.

If you are trying to reach a loved one who is suffering from addiction, the best advice I can give you is not to tell them what to do, what they should do, what they have, what they will lose, etc.; they probably already know it. It is best to speak with the concern of their use being left out. You can speak about situations that may make them think about their own situation, but do not direct it at them. The have to want to get clean and sober; the pushier you are the further they will go. I know, I've been there and done that. We addicts are rebellious SOB's.

Leave out the concerned part of the conversation. Try to identify with their disease. Whatever problem you may have can be translated to their own problem. For example: OMG, my kids have been so bad today; I feel like crying. I get so fired up that I want to spank their butts so bad, but I know that if I am fired up I am likely to do something I regret and could hurt my kids; I don't want to do that.

This problem could be told to the addict by a non-addict and they could relate to the situation and emotion along with response. Addicts way of relating to above: OMG, everything seems so irritating to me; I just want to cry. I get so frustrated sometimes that I just want to have a drink, but I know I will probably end up drinking too much, changing the way I act. I could end up hurting the ones I love and I don't want to do that.

These thoughts seem to go on in the minds of an addict. It's like a constant battle of the wits inside the mind of an addict.

The topic of the addicts problem is a touchy subject and the addiction is likely to fight back. You have to learn how to maneuver around the addiction; there must be no evidence of attack to the addiction for it to allow the subject to listen. It is like a defense system; you have to know the right code or it blares with loud alerts.

Finding Your Higher Power

We need to believe in something greater than ourselves; it's human nature. Now my higher power is God. Whatever or whoever you choose as your higher power is up to you. As an addict, I can get lost in life. When I feel like a problem is a bit much to handle, I ask God to give the patience and wisdom to continue. When I do what God wants me to I feel a great feeling of fulfillment within.

Spirituality isn't about getting to church every Sunday. It is nice to go to church but if you aren't actually paying attention and understanding what is being taught then it is irrelevant. Being spiritual is about doing your everyday routine and taking a moment to look around feel God in your presence. It's like when you go outside in the spring and you hear the birds chirping while the sun and wind caress your face; you have serenity.

It takes time and meditation to be able to feel that peace and serenity. I have that now that I am clean and sober. I go to the beach and admire the beauty of the emerald ocean that lie beneath the heavenly clouds and the calming blue sky. I stop to take it all in and I am so grateful that my higher power has allowed me to regain life; for the first time I am actually living. I enjoy the nature around me (except cockroaches). Just like in the AA promises, my whole outlook on life has changed. AA has been fulfilling those 12 promises since 1935. If you do not receive what is promised to you it is because you strayed from the ways of sober life. 

When you doubt your recovery remember that God could, and would restore you to sanity if He were sought.

1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

The Promises of AA

THE A.A. PROMISES

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

This is such a short way to explain what it is like to recover through Alcoholics Anonymous.

Thank you, Bill W. and Dr. Bob,

for creating such an amazing, life-saving, non-judgemental, program for us who want it. It works. It heals. It brings life to those who have lost it to drugs and alcohol.

Mental and Physical Triggers

This week I found myself drifting off into the fun memories of my addiction. I start to think about the silly drunken fun I had; in the first couple hours of drinking. When I realized I was thinking about how it felt good and fun I immediately through awful memories into mind as a reminder of what happens after the fun ends. There is something in drugs and alcohol that feels good; why else would we keep using?
I ask myself how on earth could I even fantasize about using after all the pain and suffering drugs and alcohol had brought upon my family and I. I guess that's the addiction trying to wedge itself back into my life, but that ain't happening. I've come way too far, and I love the life I have sober.
Any time you find yourself glorifying drinking or drugging, immediately think of the worst situation that happened because of your use. There is no positive outcome that could come from drinking and/or drugging.

Another trigger that may be plaguing your life can be "people, places, and/or things." I was in line at Tom Thumb one day and noticed the Bic lighters; one had a jar on it and the other had a pickle. I started to daydream about what my dealer would say if he saw me with a pickle on my lighter. It seems like almost everything I come into contact with has some kind of reminder hidden in it. I used for such a long time that everywhere, everybody, and everything is involved in my use in one form or the other.
My advice is to keep in mind why you are clean and sober; something bad has happened to each and every addict who is sober/clean today. If you have to control your use then you have a problem. Not only do the bad times remind me of why I don't want to use, but the good things that I have now that I am clean and sober. I love my family. I love my husband. I love my kids. All of them deserve to have "me" not the addict that buries "me" deeper and deeper with each use. My children are safe and have a happy home. No drink or drug is worth the risk that comes with it. Drugs and alcohol change "you." BeaUtiful.
Stay clean and sober; your life depends on it.